Monkeys, Madness and the occasional spoonage

Some vague, random thoughts:

Putting on your handbrake is a good idea for parking your car, lest it roll out your driveway and into the hedge fence of the house across from you. Thrice.

Saying hello is a wonderful way to express joy, happiness and sometimes a great way to cause trouble.

Paying attention to where you are driving will stop you from hitting a concrete pot plant and fucking up your steering wheel. Driving at a speed of less than 30kms while parking would also help this end.

A force of nature is not necessarily a weather pattern, and a Category 4 Cyclone can be devastangly brutal, and beautiful, all at the same time.

Feeling like a fraud can sometimes lead you to do some brilliant, kind, terrific things. So who says doing the wrong thing is always bad?


Well, that's that.

Lately I'm like a Cactuar of emotions. Elusive, pint-size, and pointy. I've taken my time to come to the eventual decision that I'm a useless pile of Goza when it comes to making an appropriate decision.

I base this on the fact that I'm an all-in kind of person [which means I'm a terrible gambler and poker player]

The mentality behind that is "I've come this far, I may as well take the chance and try for the whole thing" rather than "I've come as far as I need, the smart money is to stop here"

If I was on Deal Or No Deal, I would say No Deal [before punching Andrew O'Keefe squarely in the kisser]

If I was on Millionare I'd phone a friend, ignore their advice, and go with my gut instincts [before socking Eddie squarely in his pefectly chiseled jaw]


What I'm vaguely getting at, is that certain decisions have been staring me in the face lately, and I've flat out refused to take them. Whether it be work, love, life, or money, it's easy for me to justify in one way or another why I refuse to participate, but I know that's a farce.

The trouble for me is that it's such a comfortable farce...

Ah well, maybe one day I'll wake up, realise [more than usual] what an idiot I've been [well how much more of an idiot I've been]. I doubt it though. I know what an idiot I've been but yet I don't fix it.

I suppose it will be fixed soon. Broken things can only stay that way for so long.

I read an article the other day about a tribe of ape-like monkeys [or their monkey-like ape relatives] who are essentially a matriachal society [I'll call em tribes at least, screw your modern scientific language and classifications]. They differed in their behaviour to the patriachal society, in the sense that it was a peaceful society that shared and cared for one another.

When food was found, it was distrubuted evenly. They co-operated and made living as a whole better for themselves, in comparison to the 'me-eat-first-goon' attitude prevalent in the 'other camp'.

Sure every tribe has their arguments, but this one wasn't dictated by violent arguments. All their arguments were settled in a special way: Through the horizontal hibbidi dibbidi.

By sexing up all arguments, these apes/monkeys have made their society better.

THERE IS AN IMPORTANT LESSON TO BE LEARNED HERE.

That is:

1. I need to get in more arguments.

2. If women were all just slutty mediators, there would be no need for war.

3. If women were all slutty, that would just be fun.

4. I REALLY need to get in more arguments...

5. Really...


This really eases the burden off my mind a little. It's women's DUTY as pioneers of peace and justice, to put out to save mankind from its evils. Mankind is such a term full of broken promise and dissappointment. WOMENKIND sounds so much sexier, and so much more nuturing. My years of mental conditioning have concluded one mighty fact: That my dreams of being dominated sexually by a harem of beautiful women because I opposed them in an important political debate is closer to becoming true.

It also means that Hilary Clinton would be an awful President. We all know she's ice-cold.

So many people throughout history have spoken of this. The quote isn't "First you get the money, then you get the power, then you get the cheesecake." It's women!!

You burn down your neighbouring tribe's homes in order to look more impressive to the womenfolk. "Look at us!" we cry, puffing our chests and looking hopefully in the direction of the nearest hottie in a loin-cloth.

I suppose society would hardly progress that much culturally or scientifically, but I'm positive that if everyone had a nightly bout of passion, the world would be a better place.

You'd think that makes me one sad puppy, but strangely enough, my nightly bouts of passion with Gladys seems to be tiding me over in the meantime.

I know, it's not the same, I'm not totally clueless, but it'll do for now. I've been making myself more open to 'external persuasion'lately [or so you can call it] so eventually I'll figure it all out.

In the meantime I'll continue to feel sombre listening to the excellent GITSAC soundtrack that I can't understand, but sounds beautiful nonetheless, and I'll continue to remind myself of the exciting and special little physical moments that I had forgotten about in the midst of stressing about more pressing matters.

And I'll continue hoping that Planet of the Apes isn't as far away as it seems, and eventually society will make itself like that of the monkey.

And yes I don't mean the faeces flinging kind of society. Unless that's how you get your jollies of course...